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The Turkey Refused

I swear to you that my Christmas turkey talked to me. "Look lady," it said, despite having been decapitated and frozen some weeks before, "that oven of yours is a mess, and I refuse to be basted in such a nasty appliance." After I carefully poured the cooking sherry out of my drinking glass and back into the bottle, I took Mr. Gobble's words to heart. Thing is, I hate cleaning that oven. I'm pretty sure it's older than my grandmother, and I can't face the thought of cleaning the crud off the bottom of something that I can use in reference to my eighty year old grandma. But, it has to be done, or my turkey, just to spite me, is liable to become sullen and refuse to cook beyond the skin. If you feel like I do, just click on the above link and visit How2.com's guide to cleaning your oven. Get it over with. You'll feel better about yourself and your turkey will thank you... after which I suggest you also give up sipping the cooking sherry.

Thu, 09 Dec 1999 08:59:18 -0800